The popcorn break - Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By Visionary Wed Sep 21, 2005 at 10:20:15 pm EDT	Subject The popcorn break Originally Lair Legion Living Room: the round robin!!!	In Reply To Visionary Wed Sep 21, 2005 at 10:19:14 pm EDT

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Visionary entered the darkened kitchen with the empty popcorn bowl and fumbled for the light switch. Before he could find it, however, something soft and curvy and smelling very pretty hit his chest sobbing. “Er… Pricilla?” he ventured. “Liu Xi? Kerry? Asil? Do you suppose you could give me a hint, as I kinda just realized it could take a while otherwise…” He finally managed to find the wall switch and the overhead lamp illuminated the distraught features of a puffy-eyed Abhuman. “Uhuna?” he managed. “This is a new one…”

“Oh, Visionary… I don’t know what to do…” she sobbed, sniffling into his coat and wrapping her arms around him.

“Er… yes… well…” the baffled Regular managed, holding his hands away from her as if she were covered with wet paint. “About… what, exactly?”

“Everyone hates Josh, and it’s all my fault!”

“No it’s not!” he replied quickly, grabbing her a tissue from the counter and leading her to a seat at the table. “I mean… No they don’t. They’re pretty upset with him, sure… but they don’t really hate Josh… Well, maybe Epitome. But not everyone. I don’t.”

“That’s why I came to you…” Uhuna admitted. “I knew you’d understand. Hallie says that you have a knack for making people feel better about their problems.”

He brightened visibly. “Hallie said that?”

She nodded and dabbed her eyes the the Kleenex he had offered. “And she said that you were involved in so many inappropriate relationships that you couldn’t possibly be judgmental about ours without being a two-faced sleaze.”

“Er…”

“I mean, after all… you’re sleeping with your teammate’s sister. And you took her to bed the same night you found out that’s who she was… when Josh didn’t even know yet!”

“Well…”

“And then you told everyone, when she had asked you to keep it a secret… right after trying to have sex with her the first time. You know… before you snuck away to have sex again with her behind Josh’s back, knowing he’d be upset.”

“Um, that’s not quite how I would…”

“I mean, here he finally finds out he has a long lost sister, and not only are you having constant sex with her despite his concerns, you’re getting more of her free time than he is...”

He blanched. “I didn’t really think of it in those…”

“And then there’s your cavorting with that Liu Xi girl, and all the whispers about how you should know better.”

“Wait… what?”

“And everyone is still waiting to find out if you’ve knocked up your sex slave from across the galaxy. Mumphrey particularly harrumphs about you having a hard time doing right by poor Miiri…”

“He… wait… what?”

“But you don’t let any of the disapproval or the eroding of your teammate’s regard for you bring you down, do you? Maybe that’s how Josh and I should handle things… Maybe we don’t need the blessing or approval of others to be happy. We could just learn to ignore our guilt and remorse, and bury ourselves further in hedonistic pleasure like you do.”

“I… you… but…”

Uhuna let out a deep, cleansing breath. “Hallie was right… You do have a comforting way about you. Our problems don’t seem nearly so insurmountable now… I’m so glad I came to see you.” She gave him a peck on the cheek and went to the kitchen door. “I should get back to the others before someone gets the wrong idea about us, what with your reputation.”

Visionary stood there blinking as she slipped out.

“How’d it go?” Lisa asked from the couch.

“Well enough that I feel a little guilty” Uhuna admitted. “Are you sure this is how I form new bonds with the team now that I’m no longer considered to be ‘Nat’s Girlfriend’? It seems a little cruel…”

The first lady of the Lair Legion grinned. “Teasing Visionary is a rite of passage to the team, believe me.”

“It just didn’t seem very sporting…”

“Did I mention that he’s the one who coined the nickname ‘Sex Princess’?”

“Yes” she admitted. “I only said I feel a little guilty…”

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Follow-Ups:

* This is sort of DBS#23 1/2, isn;t it? (no text) - HH - Fri Sep 23, 2005 at 02:00:29 pm EDT
- * As you know, the Parodyverse is best when interconnected. (no text) - Visionary - Fri Sep 23, 2005 at 06:20:21 pm EDT
* I figure we should just post new story bits to the main post above, so they don't get lost among responses. (no text) - Visionary - Wed Sep 21, 2005 at 10:52:00 pm EDT
- * That was fun! I'll think up something with Tricky. (no text) - ag - Thu Sep 22, 2005 at 07:57:40 am EDT
- * I'll come up with something later; it's too early to write at the moment :) (no text) - Hatman - Thu Sep 22, 2005 at 07:17:00 am EDT
- * I will make every effort to come up with something (no text) - killer shrike enjoyed both of your contributions - Thu Sep 22, 2005 at 06:40:09 am EDT
- * OK. I will see what I can come up with. (no text) - Manga Shoggoth - Thu Sep 22, 2005 at 04:20:18 am EDT
- * OK. I will see what I can come up with. (no text) - Manga Shoggoth - Thu Sep 22, 2005 at 04:01:50 am EDT
  - * Preferably without hitting "reply" twice. (no text) - Manga Shoggoth - Thu Sep 22, 2005 at 04:21:37 am EDT